Working With Families
As a former SEND teacher and now a trainer at the ADHD Foundation, I know that parents are the true champions of their child’s success. Before the school day even begins, they’ve tackled sleepless nights, morning routines, and emotional ups and downs. Their insight isn’t just valuable—it’s essential. In this article, Colette Longden, National Trainer at the ADHD Foundation, explores why working in partnership with families makes all the difference.
Learning to listen first
Early in my career, I made the mistake of enthusiastically leading with strategies before understanding the full picture. Now, I start every relationship by listening. When Ellie’s mum explained how her daughter masked at school but completely broke down at home, it transformed my approach. We developed strategies that considered her entire day, not just the school hours. Some students may be “holding it together” in school, and parents must manage the dysregulation at home, this can have a huge impact on families and students’ experiences of school.
The power of small wins
I remember Joe’s parent arriving at our first meeting, armed with thick folders of previous school reports. She was exhausted from fighting the system and ready to fight again if needed, it took a while to develop trust in our teacher/parent relationship. Instead of adding to their burden, we started by celebrating small wins. Joe taking part in busy environments – Win! His contribution in class lesson- Win! His playing alongside another student – Win! These moments matter more than anything.
Real solutions for real families
My approach has evolved based on what actually works
- Morning check-ins with parents about medication timing and sleep quality.
- Flexible deadlines that account for home responsibilities and family activities.
- Quick message updates about positive moments, not just challenges.
- Shared resources that can work for home.
Beyond the classroom
Neurodiversity doesn't clock out at 3pm. When Amir was having difficulty at home, his mum communicated some changes to the family routine. We adapted his work to align with their schedule, and we saw improvement in his engagement in school. This kind of collaboration leads to real progress.
Managing tough days
Some days are harder than others. When Lewis had a meltdown during assembly, his parents' insights about sensory triggers helped us create a better support plan. We then developed support for Lewis to feel safe, in control and helped him to develop strategies when he felt anxious.
The truth about partnership
Supporting pupils isn't about perfect solutions, it's about consistent collaboration. When parents told me about weekend successes or struggles, we adjusted our approach. When medication changes affected classroom performance, we adapted together.
Looking forward
Every child is unique, and every family faces different challenges. But one thing remains constant, when we truly partner with parents, students thrive. It's not always easy, but seeing a child succeed because of great home and school collaboration, makes it all worthwhile.
Remember, behind every child is a family doing their best. Our job isn't to direct, it's to support, listen, and work together toward success.