Skills In Self-Regulation

Top Tips For Supporting Your Child To Develop Skills In Self-Regulation

Author: Colin Foley, National Training Director. 

• Understand the stress response - it’s the body’s way of responding to a perceived threat. When we experience the stress response our bodies go into fight, flight or freeze reaction which often means it can be difficult to use logical thought.

• Coach children to understand their emotions - label the emotion and the physical feeling that your child may be experiencing “I think that you are happy because you have a big smile on your face” or “I think that you are angry because your face is going red.” If we can support children to understand and recognise their emotions, they will be much more likely to be able to regulate them.

• Introduce breathing techniques. This can be done using a range of different apps such as Calm, moodgym, Headspace For Kids & Stop, Breathe & Think Kids

• Challenge your child’s negative thinking by asking them direct questions: 1. Is that thought helpful? 2. What advice would you give to your friend who is experiencing the same thought? 3. Is it fact or opinion? 4. Where is your evidence for your thinking?

• Support them to burn some of the physical energy built up by the stress response - trampolining, push ups, resistance bands, running on the spot are all great activities that can help them to get rid of some of their “Fuzzies”. If a child loses control of their emotions

• Make sure that they are safe, give space and reduce language. Be available but reduce attention.

• When the child has calmed down, acknowledge their feelings.

• When appropriate, discuss the consequences of the behaviour. This is likely to be more successful when the child has calmed and regained logical mind - it may be useful to offer them a calm down technique (as above)