10 Tips to Manage Sibling Relationships

In partnership with the ADHD Foundation Neurodiversity Charity, we have put together practical top tips to manage sibling relationships in a neurodiverse family to support everyone. Our simple activities can show your child that they have your full attention.

Celebrate strengths

Help each sibling recognise how valuable they are within the family.

For example, during dinner, go around the table and ask each sibling to share something positive they did that day. Take the opportunity to highlight how that action contributed to the family, such as “You helped clean up the kitchen without being asked, that really made the evening smoother for everyone.”

Encourage kindness

Encourage each sibling to write down what they appreciate about their brother or sister.

For example, “You’re really good at being patient with me when I need to do something a certain way” or “You understand my need for quiet time and give me space when I need it.”

Acknowledge skills

Highlight each siblings’ skills and what they contribute to the family.

For example, “You are always there for your siblings, showing them they can rely on you during tough times.”

Support each other

Remind them what they can do to support each other and how it would benefit them.

For example., take your time when communicating, especially if they need extra time to process thoughts, or acknowledge each other’s successes, no matter how small, to boost confidence.

Understanding neurodiversity

Help them understand neurodiversity by using story books to engage both siblings and create understanding.

Build self-esteem

Each child can have a task that suits them. This will help build self-esteem.

For example, allow them to organise a family games night or outing, which will bring excitement to the planning process.

Quality time

Have one to one time with each child, whether it’s watching TV, reading a book, supporting them with homework, playing a game, going for a walk or doing tasks together.

Conflicts resolutions

After conflicts, allow them to have time apart to reflect on what happened and consider what could they have done differently.

1. Take time apart

Take a break for a specific period, allow them to cool down separately to process their emotions.

2. Reflect on what happened

Reflect on personal feelings, then try to consider how the other sibling might have felt during the conflict.

3. What could they have done differently?

Identify alternate ways to react, focus on feelings rather than blame and what they want to say to their sibling. Each sibling can take turns sharing their thoughts and feelings. Then, address how to work through next time. Finally, after the conflict has been resolved, do something fun together. For example, play a game, watch a movie or go outside.

Emotional check ins

Do regular check ins. Picture or emoji charts are a great visual why for children to express their feelings. Set a regular time for check ins, whether that’s at breakfast time, teatime or before bed.

Supporting each other’s interests

Help them understanding that both of their interests are important.

For example, one day they can do an activity chosen by one sibling, and the next day the other can decide. Helping them understand that taking part in both activities is an important part of friendship.

Books recommended by the ADHD Foundation

• The Girl Who Always Could: An empowering tale of the ADHD experience for girls, and the power of self-love
• Different - A Great Thing to Be!
• My Awesome Autism: Helping children learn about their autism diagnosis. (The Eddie Series)
• The Spectrum Girl's Survival Guide: How to Grow Up Awesome and Autistic

Sibling Advice & Support

For more information on sibling support, download our Support Pack.